The woman was invisible.
She was the server waiting on a group of business people (mostly men). She served them well by keeping glasses filled, taking care of special requests, and serving the various courses of the meal.
But no one saw her. No one said thank you or acknowledged her presence. The most that anyone said to her was, “…more coffee over here,” or “That’s not what I wanted.” Continue reading I’m the greatest!
I grew up in Little Rock, Arkansas. The hometown of my youth had segregated schools, racially separated water fountains, entrances to the local theater separated according to race, and sitting in the back of the bus if you were black. It was a big deal when LR Central High School integrated, and a cultural sea change began.
It’s no surprise to me that formal debates were a common means for taking on your opponents and proving them wrong. My parents would take me to religious debates at a large local auditorium. The air was charged like at a high school football game. The object was not to learn something new but rather to crush your opponent and make him look like a fool.
Continue reading Don’t confuse me with the facts.
A few years ago I was sitting in a coffee shop not far from a 30-something friend of mine.
“Hey Bruce, how long have you and your wife been married?”
“Forty years.”
“Wow. That’s a long time.”
The brief conversation ended, and I went back to what I was doing. But not without reflecting on what had made it possible to live with the same person for that long. And now in the year of our upcoming 45th anniversary I’d like to suggest 5 of the secrets to that longevity. Continue reading 5 Secrets to a Healthy Marriage
Keeping another person engaged in conversation is an art. It cannot be assumed that others will be interested in what we are saying, and failing to pay attention to that fact can cause a person to become boorish, irritating, and repelling. Who wants to be the person that sends others scurrying for the nearest exit?
There are some disciplines or tools that will keep others engaged. Paying attention to these tools requires some attention and work, but it pays high dividends. Continue reading 5 Ways to Cause Others to Quit Listening
Simon was a Pharisee. He lived a monochrome religious life that was “cut and dried” and had no room for questioning or grace. One day he invited Jesus to his home, presumably for some quiet conversation and theological debate.
So when a woman burst into his polite dinner party, he and his guests were horrified. In her hands was a beautiful alabaster jar, like the type used to carry perfumed ointment, and her eyes were bloodshot and moist. A room full of male eyes telescoped to see what the commotion was. Continue reading THAT kind of person….
The child rearing program called Systematic Training for Effective Parenting teaches parents to help their children internalize values and make choices accordingly rather than depending on external forces such as rebuke, rules, and laws.
What this means is that, for example, a child learns to treat others with kindness out of respect (internal value) rather than because s/he will get in trouble with the teacher (external force). People who are incarcerated are so because they failed to internalize and personalize values. Continue reading Flattery will get you nowhere.
The old woman with a head scarf stares back at its viewer. On first glance she seems to be all there is to the picture.
But not so fast! A young woman is also in the picture. Some people actually see the young woman first.
No matter who is seen first, the second person, old or young woman, always requires more concentration to see. Continue reading The Optical Illusion
People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.
My mom used to say that when she thought someone was being judgmental and ungracious. It was her little reminder that becoming a rock thrower is a dangerous occupation if only for the reason that someone may visit your own glass house with a rock in hand. She knew that everyone lives in a glass house. Continue reading Living in Glass Houses
Neat sale from Worship Graphics. Thought I’d check it out. Lots of media for a small price. Click the icon to find the details of the sale. Sale lasts only 144 hours.
Richard Florida wrote about the importance of the Arts in his best-seller-book, The Rise of the Creative Class. Florida writes that “The nation’s geographic center of gravity has shifted away from traditional industrial regions toward new axes of creativity and innovation.” Page 11.
Arts are important to cities that want to promote social and economic growth. People flow to the places where creativity and innovation exist, yet, ironically, the Arts are frequently what first get cut in stressed budgets. This has been evident in the national demise of arts programs in our schools despite the fact that they contribute positively to the educational experience. Continue reading The Importance of the Arts
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