Rap Lyrics

My friend Dwight Whitsett wrote the following about Rap music in his blog. He cracked me up, and I thought his talent was worth showcasing.

In the interest of being “current” and “hip,” I suppose I should have my own rap song. I’m looking for a producer who can make a fat, gray-haired man look fly to the hip-hop crowd.

As I researched rap lyrics (I only barfed twice) it occurred to me that some might not appreciate my efforts. Well in the words of rapper Jay-Z as he answered his critics (sorry I won’t quote the whole couplet in the interest of decorum) “If you don’t like my lyrics you can press fast forward.” (99 Problems).

Whassup wit you, homeboy?

I wanna say somethin’ ‘bout the hip-hop invasion,
To all of those homeys of the hip-hop persuasion,
I’m rappin’ bout their filthy-mouthed conversation
Thas bringin’ mo junk talk before this nation

Dog, I gotta handle on the problem as I see thangs
You just afta mo dough and a buncha new rangs
You don’t care ‘bout no problem wit what you sangs,
Cause you afta bein’ hood-rich an’ gittin’ mo bling-blangs

Yo record producers they all in the game,
They in there wit you when it comes to the blame.
It all about money, cash-trash and flash-flash,
‘Bout bein’ a stunna, my Benz and my hash-stash.

I’m talking ‘bout GREED, can you dig it my man?
They buyin’ this stuff (that’s according to plan),
As long as they buy it you keep pukin’ it up
Then take it to the man to put mo cash in the cup.

You say you wuz raised in the hood and had nothin’ to mention,
Now you got cash, trash, a Lac and lot’s of attention.
Don’t cry for Don Imus ‘cause he put his foot in,
See, GREED drives the nation and that’s the intention.

Okay, so my street language is incomplete. As I studied as much of the lyrics as I could stomach, one message kept coming through. If you were raised poor get rich. It doesn’t matter if you sell your soul to Satan…just do it.

You probably guessed, I’m not a fan of hip-hop. I am, however, a sold-out fan of the Holy Spirit who said, “The love of money causes all kinds of trouble” (1 Timothy 6:10).

The Spirit also says that the day will come when…”People will love only themselves and money. They will be proud, stuck-up, rude, and disobedient to their parents. They will also be ungrateful, godless, heartless, and hateful. Their words will be cruel, and they will have no self-control or pity. These people will hate everything that is good” (2 Timothy 3:2,3).

Maybe that day has come.